Archive for the 'War & Peace' Category

90 Day Evaluation

Having now spent three months living eating and sleeping the National CHANGE from tightie whitey red briefs to loose, slick silky blue boxers, methinks they still clothe the same sweaty crotch-rotten package, the same inflamed, diseased nutsack and the same bent, semi-hard caulk with the same tendencies toward incontinence and premature ejaculation.

Meet the New Boss.
revolution

He spends like the old boss, Drunken Sailor Sam. We don’t have to worry about that fiscal responsibility bullshit; living within ones’ means is for individuals and businesses – not governments.

He embraces the unitary executive like the old boss- seeking to quash all legal action designed to prosecute unconstitutional warrantless domestic spying, as well as all attempts to reveal the nature and depth of said spying. Here I was afraid he’d hold ATT to the same standards as you or I when it comes to illegal data-mining and pesky privacy, but he fooled me and supported the position of the previous administration. And in the Name of National Security.

Way to go, New Boss!!

He embraces and maintains this sweeping dictatorial authority for the same reason as his predecessor:

The New Boss fully supports a Perpetual War on Terror at home and abroad, and thereby needs and claims the authority to suspend any and all constitutional, individual rights in the name of National Security.

What a relief. I was afraid change meant we’d have a pussy in the WH.

It’s not just the evildoers that we have to fight over there so we don’t have to fight ‘em over here. It’s also the Enemy Within – real and potential – that we must keep an eye on over here so they don’t become terrorists or get recruited by others who might become terrorists or otherwise act on/in/for extremist beliefs. Sure, the E.W. has changed his spots since the old boss moved out and the New Boss has moved in; he’s no longer the black-masked leftist anarchist, the anti-capitalist hippie, the quaker peacenick or the violent environmental activist; he’s now the gun-rights advocate, the returning vet, the states rights activist, the teabagging, easily led, right-wing extremist, the religious fundamentalist, the anti-interventionist and the anti-internationalist.

When you’re the guvmint, old boss or New Boss, there’s always an Enemy Within, just as there’s always a Moral, Just and Necessary Mission to be Accomplished Over There.

The New Boss has smartly and rightly preserved his supra-constitutional authority to keep a special eye on the Enemy Within, and the extra-judicial means to indefinitely detain them without charges and without the due process of law.

The New Boss, like the old boss, has smartly and rightly embraced the ultimate Moral Authority of American Exceptionalism. No domestic or international criminal prosecution for our former leaders/accused war criminals. It is our right and duty to hold the Saddams and Milosevics and their complicit minions accountable for their actions, but when it comes to our own miscreants, we have chosen a superior moral position that usurps principle, consistency, accountability, due process and the rule of law: it’s called, “moving forward.”

For those who have yet to hop on the ObamaWagon, the time is Now.

Embrace change.

It’s not all that different as you mighta thunk it to be.

With Texans talking secession, Alaskans challenging federal gun control, and angry redneck teabagging threatening to disturb the peace, DHS can’t sit on their hands and wait for an actual crime to occur. We can’t allow the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud ignited by domestic lunatics, rising like Lucifer’s shadow over an Amerkin city.

We are the United States of America. We are facing unprecedented economic catastrophe, ever-growing future indebtedness, increasing threats from rogue states and global terrorism. We must pull together for the good of the nation. If Obama can’t persuade us to unite for the Greater Good, he must use more assertive means. You can’t argue rationally with those whose overgrown limbic systems preclude them from understanding and grasping the superiority of central planning. You can, however, use the threat of prosecution to intimidate the majority of the dissenters, and the power and authority of the unitary executive in a time of war to gather up and silence the remaining terrorist sympathizers.

Thank Science we didn’t hold the last administration accountable for their dirty deeds. We’d never have the power today to fight the real Enemy Within.